STOP HOLDING ON TO POTENTIAL, START CHOOSING REALITY!

 

How Do You Make It Work?

I’ve been sitting with this question lately: How do you make it work? Life, dreams, relationships, money, goals, all of it. It’s a question that creeps in quietly, especially when you’re doing all the things, showing up, pushing through, even healing and growing, and yet somehow… things still don’t seem to work.

I’m learning that sometimes, it doesn’t work because it doesn’t work. Not because you're not trying hard enough. Not because you're not smart or gifted or worthy. Simply because life doesn't always align just because you want it to, and that’s a hard pill to swallow. Especially when you’re someone who sees potential everywhere. You see it in people, in yourself, in projects, in ideas that spark at 2 a.m. The “what it could be if only…” mindset is so easy to slip into. But sometimes “if only” never comes. And you can end up wasting so much energy trying to force things to fit that were never designed to align in the first place.

Seeing Potential vs. Setting Expectations

One thing I’ve had to unpack is how my view of others’ potential has sometimes been more about my own expectations, expectations rooted in what I would do if I had what they had.

“If I had that platform, I’d use it to…”
“If I had that kind of partner, I wouldn’t take them for granted.”
“If I had that opportunity, I’d never let it go.”

But the truth is, that’s not their story, it’s mine projected onto them. And it’s not fair. We all carry different weights, different fears, and different wounds. What seems like an obvious step to you might be a terrifying leap to someone else. And even when you see someone “wasting” their opportunity, it’s still their path to walk.

That realization can be grounding. It humbles you. It brings you back to yourself.

Love, Potential, and Letting Go

This idea of potential also spills over into relationships. Romantic friendships, even family dynamics. How often have we loved someone for their potential, not for who they truly are in the present moment?

You think, If only they healed… if only they grew in this way… if only they just saw themselves the way I see them. You pour and wait and hope, and in the process, you forget to ask the most important question: Is what they’re giving me right now enough for me, or do I have my own unrealistic expectations of them?

It’s a difficult thing to admit, especially when you’ve invested your heart, your time, your prayers. But holding onto someone or something because of who they could be can weigh you down. You stay too long in situations because you’re in love with a version of a person that doesn’t exist. You delay decisions because you’re waiting for someone else’s breakthrough, not realizing it might be costing you yours.

Choosing better doesn’t mean becoming cold or selfish. It means becoming clearer. It means learning to base your choices not just on what you feel, but on what’s there. What someone is showing you now, not what they might become later. That shift in thinking can completely transform the way you navigate love, friendships, and your own journey.

Using the Mirror: What Can You Do With What You Have?

Here’s where it comes full circle.

The same way we tend to project expectations on others, we also need to learn to reflect those high standards back to ourselves, to stop beating ourselves up, and to measure wisely.

Instead of asking, What would I do if I had what they had? ask:
What can I do with what I have right now?

That’s the true scale of growth.

Not what you’d do if you had more money, more support, more time, more freedom, but what you’re doing with the little you’ve got. That’s where resilience lives. That’s where clarity grows. And that’s how you begin to make things work, not perfectly, not magically, but truthfully.

Start where you are. Don’t glamorize someone else’s chapter over your own. Learn to love people as they are, not as they might become. Let go of expectations that only leave you empty. And when things don’t work, don’t take it as a sign that you’re incapable. It just means that version isn’t you.

And that’s okay.

Keep adjusting. Keep refining. Keep choosing peace over potential.
And most importantly, don’t forget to give yourself the same patience you give everyone else.
You’re allowed to grow at your own pace. You’re allowed to let go.
You’re allowed to start again with what you have, right where you are.