There’s something we do so often without even realizing it…
We give things meaning. So much meaning that they begin to control us.
Our emotions start to shift based on whether we have them or
not. We feel like we’re missing out, like we’re falling behind, like we should
want something simply because everyone else does. And sometimes, when you
really pause and think about it… You realize you didn’t even want it to begin
with.
But the world is loud.
Social norms, expectations, the people around us, they plant
ideas, subtly and consistently. They shape desires we didn’t consciously
choose. And before you know it, you’re chasing something out of fear… the fear
of missing out, the fear of being left behind, the fear of not fitting into a
version of life that was never truly yours.
At the same time, there’s this need to control everything.
To control outcomes. To control people. To control how
things turn out.
But control… is limiting.
Because the more I’ve tried to control everything around me,
the more I’ve realized how little of it is actually mine to hold. I can’t
control whether someone loves me or chooses me. I can’t control whether a
company decides to hire me or work with me. I can’t control whether people see
value in the things I enjoy or create.
I can’t force people to understand, to agree, or to stay.
And maybe that’s the lesson.
That the only thing I truly have control over… is myself.
My choices. My direction. My response.
So instead of trying to shape everything else, I’m learning
to center my desires. To strip them down to what’s actually mine, without the
pressure, without the noise of what others think I should want, whether good or
bad.
Because influence is powerful.
The same way, as an artist, you can start with a clear
vision of what you want to create… and slowly, without even noticing, outside
voices begin to shape it. Opinions, trends, expectations, they creep in. And
suddenly, what you end up with feels different. Not wrong… just not fully
yours.
That’s the weight influence carries.
It can bury your original idea if you give it too much
space.
And I’ve come to realize something else too, something that
shifted how I see my work as a creative. Creating has never really been the
hard part for me.
Starting something, building it, showing up consistently, that
part flows. I can create over and over again. Ideas come, and I bring them to
life.
And the truth is… people do see it.
They admire it. They acknowledge it. They even see the value
in it.
But that’s not the hard part.
The hard part is moving from being seen… to being chosen.
To convince someone to take that extra step, to buy it, to
invest in it, to make it theirs. That shift… is where the real challenge lies.
Because that part involves other people.
It’s like publishing a book, you can pour your heart into
writing it, designing it, bringing it into existence… and people may praise it,
talk about it, even celebrate it.
But getting them to actually take it home? To own it?
That’s a different kind of ability, nature, or force, a
different kind of vulnerability.
And maybe that’s where everything connects.
Control. Desire. Influence.
Learning what is mine to carry… and what isn’t.
I can create. I can choose. I can show up.
But I can’t control the moment someone decides, this is
for me.
So instead of holding so tightly to outcomes, to validation,
to expectations, I’m learning to release. To create from a place that feels
true to me, and to let that be enough.
To trust that what is meant for me will find me…
And what isn’t, was never mine to force.
