I'm alone in my room typing this feeling distance from
everyone and everything. Not sure why. It’s funny I have my family here all
watching a movie together in the other room which I've already watched, but I'm not good at pretending. Something’s bugging me and I don’t know what it is. I
don’t feel like am myself. I feel like am changing into someone else, not
someone I necessarily like, or maybe I'm just growing older and my preferences
are changing. I've always been a people person, but now all I want to do is to
be left alone. I mean I love my friends, my family, everyone! Although every
day the clock is ticking, the days are going and I'm not content, rather
everything feels subtle. I'm not where I want to be and I feel like am running
out of time.
I should be happy with everything I have as of now but
instead I find myself chasing time trying to figure out everything I'm doing
wrong. I know in my heart that everything am doing deserves so much more than
what I have. Maybe I'm just so unrealistic.
Life is short, you only leave once (Seems to be everyone’s
motto everywhere nowadays). Ask yourself if you die today; are you happy with
everything you've done so far? Is it everything you wanted to do, or are you
waiting to start it later on?
I hate my indecisiveness, impatience, my quick mind change;
makes me question everything in the end. I don’t want to lie to myself by
making New Year’s resolutions as to what I'm going to do and change. Life as we
know it is very unpredictable. I still feel greatness in me so I’ll always keep
that strive for it. Right now my vision is blurred but every year gone by, is a
reminder, my empowerment, my will to keep fighting and to keep goal searching.
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