Wednesday, January 30, 2013

My take on domestic Abuse

I've been coming across a lot of domestic abuse cases and its been bugging me a lot. I just don't see what would ever lead a man to hit a woman up to the point where she has to be hospitalized. Is it hatred? Or what is it? You tell me. Funny they be the same people that come pleading back for forgiveness. In my case I don't think anyone who has been abused should return to the person whom abused them cause trust and believe, it may happen again. Once beaten, twice shy!

Let me share this story I heard of some lady on Classic FM on my ride to school some days back. I'll call the characters 'Anne' and 'Jim" (Not their real names)

        Ok so Anne and Jim were dating. They really loved each other. Then Anne got pregnant and she told Jim about her pregnancy. Jim immediately told her to have an abortion and Anne was not for it; so she told him if he doesn't want to keep the baby, then she will take care of the baby herself. Lucky for Anne she had a good support system and she was able to take care of the baby on her own. When Jim heard that she was able he hesitated a bit and decided he would reconsider his options. He then said he was ok with the idea of a child and said he would help her out with the baby. Then came 6 months.. Jim ends up beating up Anne and leaves her on the floor bleeding helpless. Anne was able to get to her sister's place who lived nearby and was rushed to hospital. Turns out that Anne was having twins and both babies died inside her and because of that she had to be operated on. After the operation she was told she could never have children. It was such a sad story.

I was really disgusted by it. I don't get how any guy could do that in the first place. In her case he never showed any signs of violence or physical abuse in that manner. I just don't get what drives people to do anything of the sort, whether its unavoidable, or if we are able to detect such people and keep off.

Then today I read this comment someone mentioned on abuse, thought I'd share it as well...

" I have really given a lot of thought to the issue of domestic abuse and the views America has on it. I have seen contradictory views by the masses from The Chris and Rihanna situation, to K Michelle and Memphitz to the hood rat on the bus with the bus driver. Many ppl say in Rihanna's case that a man should NEVER hit a woman under any circumstances, fast track to K Michelle where she probably "forced" him to, all the way to the bus driver where she deserved to be uppercut. I have come to the realization that there are two forms of physical abuse between males and females and I feel that America has not differentiated that fact. Some women face real domestic abuse many times mostly mental, but these women are belittled, abused and sometimes destroyed of any real self image. These are the true victims in my opinion. & then there are women who argue with their men and push them to their breaking point causing the men to lash out sometimes bringing out something in them that even they didn't know existed. These women, though not completely victims are given the same sympathy as the truly abused women. I'm not saying the second case men are blameless but these men are human, and it takes a strong person male or female to endure verbal or physical attacks and not act on it. Please don't try to tell me that any man who hits a woman is an evil monster because just as is the bus driver or K Michelle's case you sometimes agree that it is brought on by something more than an emotional disturbed man. I don't know which case Rihanna and Chris fall under but I feel that he may have truly made a mistake at 19 yrs old. My main point is that we should be able to differentiate the two and judge accordingly." ~ Divah

I'm not sure about the Rihanna and the Chris Brown situation. That beating was not normal, I wouldn't call that mental stability. Something's obviously bugging that child. Although Rihanna has chose to go back to him, so am sure she's well aware of the consequences and she loves him enough to take the risk of being with him, then so be it.

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