Thursday, October 17, 2013

What if I never get married?

It's crazy how society judges so harshly at everything we do in general. I end up being conscious and aware of the things that I'm expected to do even without wanting to. This is random: I saw a post of Kim K in her swim suit flaunting her almost-naked body and the first thought I had was, "She is a mum! What is she doing? She's not suppose to be doing such things now!!!" Anyway, so I went on and read the other comments and a lot of people were pointing that out as well and saying how rude, disrespectful and disgusted they were on how she isn't setting a good example. That's when I got defensive and I realized, am just like the rest of society. Too many expectations.

So Beyonce got a baby now, does that mean she should stop wiggling her ass or maybe should she not have been wiggling her ass in the first place? What difference does it make anyway? Does her child give her an exception? Is it because she's a mummy now she shouldn't do it? Besides she's on her 30's probably giving her more reason not to which makes me think back to all the teens that are getting pregnant at their early ages been forced to grow up young. They are forced by society not to do some stuff that motherless women still do even though we've got women at their 40's who haven't got kids and they get away with anything. So is it the role model factor that we instil in mothers to be able to set a good example to their children? So does that mean if I never get a child I don't ever have to be a role model to anyone and society won't be so judgemental? I don't know life is funny! This leads me on to my next topic, actually the main discussion of my blog today... Marriage!

Why is society so based on the fact that we have to get married? Or since I'm Catholic.. join sobriety (ok wrong word) I mean join some priesthood of some sort. Meaning devoting my life to God. There's nothing wrong with that... It's just lately since I'm soon getting to my 30's I've started to ask myself, "What if I never get married?"

Is it a crime? Is it such a big deal? I grew up knowing they are two paths in life. To be a nun or to get married and have children. Well I couldn't be a nun for obvious reasons which make sense to me. But now there's a possibility that marriage is not for everyone and I've been thinking a lot lately that it may not be for me too.

All my life I've grown up with the mindset, go to school, work hard, get good grades, graduate, get a job, get married, have children and the cycle continues. It doesn't really work like that. In fact you're lucky if it works out that way for you. As I'm approaching my 30's I'm having a rude awakening. For starters shit doesn't really work out how you plan it. You fall shot of the expectations you had for yourself and society starts to question you so many times that you just want to dig a hole and bury yourself in it. You find yourself not wanting to face society cause you're tired of hearing it over and over again. Geez society can be so judgemental, I mean it's bad enough I know it, just don't rub your expectations in my face. Doesn't make it any different if you keep remind me. You're expectations may not be mine, and even if they are there's nothing wrong with having a different outcome.

My mum keeps mention to me how its about that time I start my life. I mean really? Start my life!? I just want to respond to her, 'I'm I not living now?" Do you start living when you get married and have children of your own. Oh and again not everyone gets children or wants children of their own. Even if they did not all women can have children of their own, so don't judge them harshly. In the end, it all goes back to what if I never get married or have children? Does it mean I'll never live? Is that our purpose in life? To keep re-carrying this life cycle of offsprings.. maybe it is, maybe that's what life's really about. Maybe I wouldn't understand cause am not there yet.

Now the question about marriage. Would I have an arranged marriage? If you asked me this a year ago I would think you're insane. But think about it, how many people that go into arranged marriages survive over those that go into marriages head over hills in love? You'll be surprised. Statistics state that arranged marriages last longer than the latter. This is because you go into the marriage expecting everything to be perfect and you always fall shot as opposed to someone who goes into a marriage expecting the worst and it turns out ok for them. Funny isn't it? I know!

Anyway, at the end of the day... marriage is a commitment. I'm not saying I wouldn't do it, its just one of those things that I realize that amongst all the pressure to get married it doesn't cut for me. So what if I never get married? It's not the end of the world. So Let me be.