I have spent most of my years trying to keep my age a secret, trying to hide from the world my reality that my years are going by way faster than I can fathom. In the lost years that have passed without mention, I have realized that just because you hide it from someone doesn't make it any less true than it is. The fact remains that I am turning 30 and that's my reality and I can’t buy back the years that have gone. Now I shall celebrate every year as it is.
I have never been one to quite, but I am so tired of doing things over and over again without results. I have spent most of my time working on the same thing hoping that one day I will get different results. I continue to complain about it then still do it anyway, only because I am afraid to quite. I think it's time I learned how to call a spade a spade. It will help me save a lot of time and money. If something isn't working out, it’s just not working out. This will help me stop whatever it is I am doing wrong and try something else. Besides, it is ok to have tried and failed at it than not to have tried at all. Therefore, coming the next year I will quite on everything that has not worked for me and welcome new ideas.
Love is not a fairy tale. I know now that I won't magically wake up one day and find prince charming on my door. I have stopped waiting and longing because it doesn't work like that. Even if I enjoy a romance movie from time to time, I need to remember that it is not my reality. My reality is that love is overrated and it is what it is. It is a choice we make, with whomever we chose to fall for. It may happen, it may not. Therefore, there is no need to dwell on something that isn’t real. At the moment love for me is not my reality. So until the day it is, I will accept my reality and take it as it is.
Being content with what I have.
I am nowhere next to where I thought I would be at 30. Yes it sucks! But it doesn't mean that I will never be where I thought I would be. It's not the end of the race. As of now, all I can do is be happy with what I've done so far and continue striving towards achieving my goal. Many people will talk you out of achieving your goal; others will cheer you on just so you don’t quite. However, don’t be stuck on listening to other people’s voices and forget your own. Your opinion is what matters the most. Always listen to the voice that comes from within. You know what’s best for yourself.
Yes, I still don't know what I want in life. I'm not lucky enough to have figured this out years ago. Neither does it help that I change my mind a lot or get bored easily. This doesn’t mean that I don’t do anything until I’ve figured it out. I will try new things; try everything I think I can do! Life is too shot to be wasted on doing nothing. So live for now and not tomorrow, because tomorrow is not promised. Enjoy the present and make of it what you can and take each day as a learning experience. Dwelling in the uncertainty will only make me worry for no reason. The same reasons formulated in my mind that may have nothing to do with my current reality. So live in the now! It is my reality.