I've realized I've
been shy about showing my work lately. There are so many good photographers out
there that have such amazing work. I can't help but feel trashed in every way.
I can't help but feel that other people are making comparisons and laughing at
my work because I've seen the beauty of other people's work. Yes, I can't even
try and compete with them, or make mine anything similar. Although I have to
remember the reason I'm doing this is because I love it and it's not about
getting accepted into the world of photography. It's not about the judgment I
get from the public view.
I realize I was more
comfortable posting my work on my facebook fanpage because my audience wasn't
that big. Believe me, 230 likes is bigger than I thought I'd reach and as the
numbers grow I lose my confidence in my work. I feel like the world is
watching, and expecting the works of Mutua Matheka on my page and other great
photographers. No no no I am not them!!! I don't know what Camera's they use, I
can't even try and imagine. If I wanted to copy them, and do everything like
every great photographer, then what is Spinkly. Can't I just make a fan page
and share all the beautiful pictures of other great photographers?
The funny thing is I
never planned that I'd become a photographer. I still don't even consider
myself as a photographer. Some people do, and I’m ok with it. I'll call myself
a photographer because yes indeed I take photos. So ok, I'll just go with it. I
guess if anything it's indeed a compliment, because somebody somewhere
appreciates my work and you are awesome for that! I take pictures all the time
(lots of them) and post them facebook profile. I have so many albums its
ridiculous! I don't think my friends see the fascination in nature and the
random things I take, so I thought if I started a fan page and fill it with my
random photos instead of filling up my facebook timeline, then that would be
ok. So then I posted my work there for the world to see, away from my personal
profile timeline and someone even suggested that I put a sign on my pictures!!!
So I created a logo as advised. It was simple, but it was needed. See the logo
I created then:
I was too excited with
the fact that I came up with that logo on my own and that I'd post it on my
pictures that showed they were associated with me. Also with the fact that
someone thought my pictures deserved to be identified. So heck yeahhhh!!!! Go
Spinkly Photography!!!
As the days went on from
them, I became interested in photography. I started looking around at other
people's photos, which I loved. I mean, really loved!!! HAVE YOU SEEN
PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHERS AT WORK??? The more I became more interested in
photography and compared myself with others, the more I've become more critical
in my work. I realized that am that grain in the sand. See that grain in this
picture below?
Yeah me neither, I don't see it. My point exactly!
Maybe the reason I feel
so judged is because I have other photographers criticizing my work too often,
which you would think it’s a good thing. I mean how else do you grow as a
photographer? So not that I should care or be bugged about it, but at some
point I guess I do. I feel like so much is expected of me, even when it was
supposed to have been fun from the beginning. I take pictures because I like
taking pictures, I mean, who doesn't? Who doesn't want to freeze a moment in
time and have it with them forever? A picture is the actual
thing, geez your mind can only remember so much... Who wouldn't want
an image of their happy past moments? So yes, that's what's cool about a
picture… it captures a moment in your lifetime!
Here's another thing,
when someone comes and judges your picture telling you everything that's wrong
with it, it’s annoying! Then they want to tell you how you can fix it and make
it better, maybe even make it look more fake. That just takes away the aspect of
me taking the picture in the first place. In fact it makes me mad…Yes am a
perfectionist and I like things perfect sometimes, I agree... yes I wish I
could have taken a better picture so maybe in that other person's eyes its ugly
and maybe they don't like it. All am thinking at the time is, you can't turn
back time. If I could yes I could! I'd have a better camera and I'd have a
better image with me. The pissing part is I wasn't able to capture the essence
of the beauty that my eyes saw at the time of that moment and share the magical
moment with the viewer as exactly as it was. However, in the end it’s not about
the viewer’s conception, it’s about mine and what I remember from it. There's
nothing more satisfying and rewarding knowing that the picture is from my
moment in time, and not somebodies else's. That I was there at that particular
moment in time to be able to capture that image you see now on 2D and that I’m
able to share that beautiful moment at that particular time with somebody else.
That through my lens of my camera, I'll have that particular memory forever,
and I'll always look back and experience it like it was. So in the end it
doesn't matter what the viewer has to say because they weren't there. Their
comments are based on secondary information that any other viewer makes judgments
based on what they see from a capture of my memory. Yet every time I look at
the picture, it’s different for me, because to me it’s a piece of me... It's a
moment re-live in my lifetime. That the moment was special and so that's good
enough for me. That's what's beautiful to me in a picture, and I don't think
people see it like that. I call it my 'I was here stamp in
life!'
So yes, you're probably
right! This picture below is a beautiful picture of New York, A panoramic view
taken midday in Manhattan. It’s way more cooler than my picture of course or
better than any of the pictures I ever took when I was there.
I wish I knew who took it. Reason I sign my pictures...
However, this next
picture is taken by me. It means so much more to me as a photographer because I
was there. The view was beautiful, breathtaking, words can't describe, and
every time I look at it I remember! It's one of my memories and a part of me I
wouldn't be able to share, but I can share this shot with you. That's what
photography is to me!
Taken from New York at night
No I did not take it
with a professional camera, like the one posted prior to this but used I used
my 14 Megapixel sony cyber shot camera. It still served the purpose; I will
still remember it, and what's even better is that it was taken by me! So yes I
signed it, and it’s one of my photography. Nothing professional, but it has my
stamp on it!
I'm sure if I could take that picture with a better camera I'd do it over.. but its still my picture and what I took then.
I've also changed the signing on my photography, especially since someone went and copied it.
I'm not to good with staying with the same logo. Someone asked me if they could do a photography logo for me, but I refuced because of course there's a cool in knowing you did the logo on your own. So then I sign pictures with the one above now.
I was also looking up the log below as a signature, so then I use it sometimes cause I thought it had a bit of edge.
Please comment below if you like it...
This is how it looks on a picture I took on my birthday which was on Friday the 13th (I know but I was lucky on that day, so no worries!)
Happy to say my photography is improving with time, hopefully I'll get a lot better! I wan't to preserve my memories a lot better!!! So then my photography is not just primary satisfaction, but secondary as well :-)
