Sunday, October 22, 2017

Ambigiuity


It reaches a point in your life when you just stop caring. So many things bug you but you’re won out of worry. Nothing makes sense any more. So much that you do what you do because it's what you do. If you don't continue doing it, then you're basically doing nothing and anything is better than nothing. You justify your doings by all means so much that it begins to make sense. Well at least you think it does but it really doesn't. Eventually you’re just doing something to justify the nothing.

 So is life, a wonder in itself. I no longer feel the need to justify anything, maybe because I lack the justification, maybe because if I justified it, it would be meaningless and what's the something worth doing if it's meaningless. It's even worrying to think about because to think about it means to justify it while really, there’s nothing to it. I know that some things don’t make sense, but then again...neither does life.

Then again, what's a life lived without meaning? Better to justify it, even if it's nothing in order to define the nothing by calling it something. I haven't said something in a while because of the nothingness that lacks justification. Even if I justified it, it wouldn't make sense, though sometimes some things are best said when they don't make sense. When they don’t make sense to other people but they make sense to you. The same way some things we will never know but God knows and that's enough. 

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Catching up!



It’s currently raining as I write this post. I know, random! It has been so long since I last wrote. I don’t even know where to begin. Oh how I’ve missed writing. I can’t believe I didn’t post anything, the whole of 2016. So this post should update you all.

I’m not sure if not writing is a good or a bad thing anymore, seeing that when I write it’s usually when I’m down and my emotions decide to take over. Currently I’m not employed and that could be another reason as to why as I’m wondering, “What next?”

My education:

So many times I have complained about being a jerk of all trades and being a master in none. Guess what? I now have a master in Graphic Design and Typography. Can I get applauded for that proud moment please…?

Thank you!

Here is what I learned…

It doesn’t matter how much education you get. Some people will still treat you like shit, discredit your work. Some will envy you, but that’s OK. You’re not better than them, as they only think that you think you’re better than them.

Yes, there’s been a learning curve, in the positive direction. I’ve learned so much!!! Though I always say receiving knowledge doesn’t end. It is always your duty to go out and find out more.

My educative days during my study were filled with research, discovering and documentation. Even today I’m happy to learn something new. Besides, who said I have to be a jerk of all trades? Why not be a master in all?

My creativity:

My thoughts are faster than any of my hands or ability is able to capture and bring it to reality. Sometimes I sit there and picture it all in my head and I’m already done, I’m over it. Nothing is wrong with that, since it saves me time from doing it and ending up not liking it. I have a broader imagination that captures concepts better. Nowadays my work needs purpose. I am able to sieve out work that’s unnecessary. I now understand that creation without purpose is just art and not design. No wonder my work before had less value.

I am aware that a lot of people will use you for your skills/talents. I say this for any creatives out there. Some won’t even give you credit for your work, let alone pay you. Some don’t even notice that they do this which is an insult. They take on your work and move on like nothing happened. A lot of people will discredit or disregard the time and effort you put into your work. They will not realize that you created something out of nothing, and that without you, it wouldn’t exist. It is OK. Such people do not know the power of gratitude. Gratitude goes a long way, for it could either make or break a person. Don’t let such people bother you for their actions do not define your talent.

Discovering myself:

I can’t say that I have discovered myself fully in terms of success and achievements, but I know myself. I know what I can do, and what I can’t do, what I love and what I don’t love. Through the past year I traveled alone to the UK and I’m now back home. In UK, I stayed on my own, I knew no one where I was and did a lot of things on my own. In the process, I learned to love myself. I now enjoy my own company. Something I thought I would never do was sitting alone in a restaurant and having a meal by myself.  I got to do that a couple of times, got quite comfortable if I may add. I took a lot of walks in the park on my own and I discovered a lot of new places as well. All I can say is Cambridge is such a beautiful town and I am glad I got to take this self-discovery journey while I was there.

My love life:

I always hated on love; though I still do sometimes, not as much. Believe it or not, I am currently dating, and I have been for over a year and a half.  I look back at all the things I said about love when I wasn’t in love, and I shake my head. When it comes to love, we all have different experiences and different opinions. I know that now. Not all love is the same. You can give advice about relationships but what works you does not necessarily work for another.  Being in a relationship has taught me privacy. Before I liked to tell all because I didn’t care, now I do. You learn that it’s not just you in that relationship. It’s two of you, and that alone is different.

I know I’m late but happy 2017!