Thursday, January 24, 2013


       I'm actually writing this in 2012 as I watch the clock count down to 2013 minute by the minute. I'm not sure this is how I want to spend my new year’s eve. I'm sure by the time this post goes up it will probably be the New Year since I don’t have any internet.

       I'm alone in my room typing this feeling distance from everyone and everything. Not sure why. It’s funny I have my family here all watching a movie together in the other room which I've already watched, but I'm not good at pretending. Something’s bugging me and I don’t know what it is. I don’t feel like am myself. I feel like am changing into someone else, not someone I necessarily like, or maybe I'm just growing older and my preferences are changing. I've always been a people person, but now all I want to do is to be left alone. I mean I love my friends, my family, everyone! Although every day the clock is ticking, the days are going and I'm not content, rather everything feels subtle. I'm not where I want to be and I feel like am running out of time.

       I should be happy with everything I have as of now but instead I find myself chasing time trying to figure out everything I'm doing wrong. I know in my heart that everything am doing deserves so much more than what I have. Maybe I'm just so unrealistic.

       Life is short, you only leave once (Seems to be everyone’s motto everywhere nowadays). Ask yourself if you die today; are you happy with everything you've done so far? Is it everything you wanted to do, or are you waiting to start it later on?

       I hate my indecisiveness, impatience, my quick mind change; makes me question everything in the end. I don’t want to lie to myself by making New Year’s resolutions as to what I'm going to do and change. Life as we know it is very unpredictable. I still feel greatness in me so I’ll always keep that strive for it. Right now my vision is blurred but every year gone by, is a reminder, my empowerment, my will to keep fighting and to keep goal searching. 

No comments:

Post a Comment